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The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids, by Alexander, Jessica Joelle
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As seen in The Wall Street Journal--from free play to cozy together time, discover the parenting secrets of the happiest people in the worldWhat makes Denmark the happiest country in the world--and how do Danish parents raise happy, confident, successful kids, year after year? This upbeat and practical book presents six essential principles, which spell out P-A-R-E-N-T:Play is essential for development and well-being.Authenticity fosters trust and an "inner compass."Reframing helps kids cope with setbacks and look on the bright side.Empathy allows us to act with kindness toward others.No ultimatums means no power struggles, lines in the sand, or resentment.Togetherness is a way to celebrate family time, on special occasions and every day. The Danes call this hygge--and it's a fun, cozy way to foster closeness. Preparing meals together, playing favorite games, and sharing other family traditions are all hygge. (Cell phones, bickering, and complaining are not!)With illuminating examples and simple yet powerful advice, The Danish Way of Parenting will help parents from all walks of life raise the happiest, most well-adjusted kids in the world.**As seen on Yahoo, Salon, MindBodyGreen, Parents, and more****International bestseller -- translated into 20 languages**
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Product details
Paperback: 208 pages
Publisher: TarcherPerigee; 1 edition (August 9, 2016)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 014311171X
ISBN-13: 978-0143111719
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.5 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
202 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#11,303 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
An upfront confession: When we want to change something about ourselves, say our style of parenting, it's often very difficult to do with nothing more than desire. I've found, however, that if I can see the issue differently it often becomes much easier to operate differently, even when the circumstances are the same.The Danish Way of Parenting encourages us to take a long view in children's development, and this can allow us to see our role as parents in a new way. For example, the authors claim that in Denmark there is no such thing as the "Terrible Twos." Of course two-year-olds in Denmark are not some placid freaks of nature, but the Danes call this step in children's development the "Boundary Age," and don't see it as something to dread or get upset about. In other words, while we in US tend to see a two-year old at a defiant, willful stage that we must deal with by establishing our authority, the Danes see this age as the time when children start growing and experimenting to find out about the world and their abilities. Part of that experimentation involves the child learning where his boundaries are. No one argues that the child should get his way through temper tantrums, but it's easier not to overreact to children's behavior if we don't frame it as a direct challenge to our authority, but instead see it as an attempt to find out where their boundaries are.Much of the Danish way to parent seems to depend more on both parents being more involved in hands on parenting than we usually see in the United States. And their culture seems to encourage more interaction with the extended family than ours does, with their socializing appearing to be more child centered than ours. Those sorts of conditions require a larger number of people being on the same page to support children, and may not be useful as a model here. But the general way Danes see children's development and their relationship to their children might shed a lot of light on child rearing practices we can, and perhaps should, change.
I feel like sometimes the author doesn't really understand the studies she's reading. You know those news write-ups about a study, and then you go and read the study and it seems like the journalist had no idea what they were reading? That's sort of the feeling I get reading this book. There are some nice parts, but nothing too mindblowing. The author's tone is a bit weird--if you end up reading it you'll get what I mean. She's an American trying to understand a different culture, but through her own American perspective. So it does come off as a little tone deaf. I did enjoy the section about empathy training in schools.
Amazing book. People have noticed change in my interaction with kids. I was always told I was great with kids, now I am learning to be even better.I am much more calm and better understand from their prospective. There is no one book on parenting but this whole book should be one of the chapters.
I enjoy learning about parenting techniques, styles, and methods of other cultures. I think it helps to keep things in perspective and is definitely good for thought. I've now recommended this book to several people because I enjoyed it so much! I appreciate that the authors didn't spend half the book explaining their education and how you should follow their methods because they are the smartest, most experienced, and have more credentials than anyone else in the world offering parenting advice. I also felt that it was a nice, easy-to-read, high level, big-picture kind of book. There was no "if your child does that, you should do this" sort of instruction. I really liked that it was more about general concepts, like reframing, with relatable examples. I find myself recognizing and thinking about the various concepts and ideas in my everyday interactions with my son much more so than any other book I've read (I've read quite a few), and it doesn't really require any effort to make the little changes in language and perception that I've made. I guess you could say that the book really expanded my understanding. I highly recommend this book!
The tone of the book is a bit strange, more like a fetishization of Danish culture and parenting than a serious comparison of parenting styles and why they may produce different results. It's far inferior to books like Achtung Baby, which I found provided much greater detail and insight.
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